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Jack Burton: I feel pretty good. I'm not... I'm not scared at all. I feel kind of... feel kind of invincible.
Wang Chi: Me, too. I've got a very positive attitude about this.
Jack Burton: Good, me too.
[pause]
Jack Burton: Is it getting hot in here, or is it just me?
Jack Burton: You know what Jack Burton always says... what the hell?
Jack Burton: Like I told my last wife, I said, "Honey, I never drive faster
than I can see, and besides... it's all in the reflexes."
Jack Burton: Now I'm not saying that I've been everywhere and I've done
everything, but I do know it's a pretty amazing planet we live on, and a man would have to be some kind of FOOL to think we're
alone in THIS universe.
Jack Burton: Everybody relax, I'm here.
Jack Burton: Tall guy, weird cloths. First you see him, then you don't.
Jack Burton: This is going to take crackerjack timing.
Jack Burton: Would you just stop rubbing your body up against mine, because
I can't concentrate when you do that.
Jack Burton: What is that stuff?
Egg Shen: It is black blood of earth.
Jack Burton: You mean oil?
Egg Shen: No, I mean black blood of earth.
Jack Burton: Ok, you people! Sit tight, hold the fort and keep the home
fires burning. And if we're not back by dawn... call the president.
Wang Chi: Here's to the Army and Navy and the battles they have won; here's to
America's colors, the colors that never run.
Jack Burton: May the wings of liberty never lose a feather.
Gracie: I'd go with you but...
Jack Burton: I know, there's a problem with your face.
Jack Burton: Great. Walls are probably three feet thick, welded shut from the outside,
and covered with brick by now!
Wang Chi: Don't give up, Jack!
Jack Burton: OK, I won't, Wang! Let's just CHEW our way out of here.
Jack Burton: Just remember what ol' Jack Burton does when the earth quakes,
the poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big old storm right
in the eye and says, "Give me your best shot. I can take it."
Jack Burton: Ready? I was BORN ready.
Wang Chi: Nothin' or double, Jack.
Jack Burton: When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck,
taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, looks you crooked in the eye and asks you if ya paid your
dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like
that: "Have ya paid your dues, Jack?" "Yessir, the check is in the mail."
Jack Burton: Have you paid your dues Jack? Yessir, the cheque is in the
mail.
Jack Burton: You know what ol' Jack Burton says at a time like this?
Thunder: Who?
Jack Burton: Jack Burton... ME!
Jack Burton: All I know is that this Lo Pan character comes out of thin
air in the middle of a goddamn alley while his buddies are flying around on wires cutting everybody to shreds while he just
STANDS there waiting for me to drive my truck straight through him with LIGHT coming out of his mouth!
Jack Burton: We really shook the pillars of heaven, didn't we, Wang?
Jack Burton: What's in the flask, Egg? Magic potion?
Egg Shen: Yeah.
Jack Burton: Thought so, good. What do we do, drink it?
Egg Shen: Yeah!
Jack Burton: Good, thought so.
Jack Burton: [Pointing to Chinese writing on elevator] What does
that say?
Wang Chi: Hell of Boiling Oil.
Jack Burton: You're kidding.
Wang Chi: Yeah, I am. It says Keep Out.
Egg Shen: It will come out no more!
Jack Burton: What? HUH? What will come out no more?
Egg Shen: ...
Jack Burton: Dammit!
Jack Burton: and go off and rule the universe from beyond the grave...
Lo Pan: Indeed
Jack Burton: or check into a psycho ward, which ever comes first huh.
Jack Burton: Son of a bitch must pay!
Wang Chi: That's why the bottle didn't slice. My mind and my spirit are goin' north and south.
Eddie: Well sure it was a war. And anybody that showed up was gonna join Lem
Lee in the Hell Of Being Cut To Pieces.
Jack Burton: Hell of being what?
Eddie: Chinese have a lot of Hells.
Wang Chi: Jack, listen, I need more of your help. I can't pay you
today, OK?
Jack Burton: Oh shit.
Wang Chi: How can I? I need all my cash for Miao Yin.
Eddie: And it's gonna cost. She's got green eyes.
Gracie: Oh no, seriously? Oh, that's an extra to these people.
It's like leather bucket seats, it's double the price.
Uncle Chu: What the hell is Gracie Law doing here?
Jack Burton: She can't get enough of me.
Gracie: Hah! He wishes.
Jack Burton: I don't get this at all. I thought Lo Pan.
Lo Pan: Shut up Mr Burton! You were not brought upon this world
to get it!
[Jack points to the wall]
Jack Burton: Hollow?
Wang Chi: Hollow.
Jack Burton: Fuck it.
[Jack wacks open the hollow
wall with his knife]
Jack Burton: Okay, I get the picture White Tigers, Lords of Death, guys
in funny suits throwing plastic explosives while poison arrows fall from the sky and the pillars of heaven shake, huh? Sure,
okay, I see Charlie Chan, Fu Manchu and a hundred howlin' monkey temples, and that's just for starters, right? Fine! I'm back!
I'm ready, goddammit let me at 'em!
Jack Burton: This is Jack Burton in the Pork Chop Express, and I'm talkin'
to whoever's out there.
[Jack Burton in a whore house under a different
name]
Jack Burton: Henry Swanson's my name, and excitement's my game.
White Tiger: Cash or charge?
Jack Burton: Oh gosh, cash I guess. I mean it's not deductible is
it.
Jack Burton: Oh my god. What is that? Don't tell me!
Egg Shen: A guardian. Whatever it sees, Lo Pan knows!
Lo Pan: I love you, Miao Yin and I need you.
Miao Yin: No, I don't belong to you!
Lo Pan: Here, take her! Take the bitch!
Jack Burton: Hey Wang, these guys, these Sing Dings...
Wang Chi: The Chang Sings
Jack Burton: ...they have enemies?
Wang Chi: The Wing Kong
Jack Burton: Who wear red turbans?
Wang Chi: [sees they're now surrounded by Wing Kong
warriors] Holy SHIT! These guys are animals, Jack!
[On phone to insurance company]
Jack Burton: I'm gonna tell you about my truck, and I DON'T wanna
hear "act of God"!
Jack Burton: What does that mean? Huh? "China is here." I don't even know
what the hell that means.
Margo: This is just so shocking. I mean I must just be so monumentally naive.
Eddie: You are.
Lo Pan: And now, my beloved disciples. The moment of truth... the needle of love.
Lo Pan: What does it mean? Two girls with green eyes. After all these years.
Gracie: You bastard, unchain me. You're not gonna get away with
this. Where's Lo Pan?
Lo Pan: This one has fire as well!
Thunder: Play your cards right... you live to talk about it!
Jack Burton: Which Lo Pan? The little old basket case on wheels or the ten
foot tall roadblock?
Egg Shen: Can see things no one else can see. Do things no one else can do.
Jack Burton: Real things?
Egg Shen: As real as Lo Pan!
Jack Burton: Hey, what more can a guy ask for?
Egg Shen: Oh, a six-demon bag!
Jack Burton: Terrific, a six-demon bag. Sensational. What's in it,
Egg?
Egg Shen: Wind, fire, all that kind of thing!
[first lines]
Pinstripe lawyer: Okay. But if I'm gonna be your attorney, then there are
a few things I need to make clear. Like... you really believe in magic?
Egg Shen: You mean Chinese black magic?
Pinstripe lawyer: Yes, I suppose.
Egg Shen: Oh, absolutely.
Pinstripe lawyer: And, uh, things like spooks and demons and goblins?
Egg Shen: Oh, sure. And sorcery.
Pinstripe lawyer: And I suppose you expect me to believe in sorcery as
well?
Egg Shen: Of course!
Pinstripe lawyer: Why?
Egg Shen: Because it's real.
Pinstripe lawyer: How can I know that, Mr. Shen?
Egg Shen: How?
Pinstripe lawyer: Yes, how? Help me out here. Please, how?
[Shen
raises his hands, and a small bolt of lightning jumps between his palms. The lawyer stares, open-mouthed]
Egg Shen: See? That was nothing. But that's how it always begins.
Very small.
Margo: Well, God, aren't you even gonna kiss her goodbye?
Jack Burton: Nope.
Jack Burton: [speaking to Lo Pan] Are you crazy... Is
that your problem?
Gracie: [Jack starts up the Pork Chop Express] What was that?
Jack Burton: 6.9 on the Richter scale!
Lo Pan: [spots Gracie, Margo and Eddie on a security monitor] Who are these people?
friends of yours? now this really pisses me off to no end!
Jack Burton: We made it. Holy shit, we made it!
Jack Burton: I took something. I can see things other men cannot see. Why
are you dressed like that?
Wang Chi: They've got this sorta clubhouse think, you know, where they all hang
out.
Jack Burton: Sharpen their knives, huh?
Wang Chi: I can't ask you to...
Jack Burton: Where is it?
Wang Chi: Thank you, Jack.
Jack Burton: You've got a tongue, Dave. Ask her yourself.
Lo Pan: There are others, to be sure. There are always others. You seem to be one to know the difficulties
between men and women. How seldom it works out.
Lo Pan: They have returned. And this time they are not alone. Egg Shen is with
them. Little bastard sorcerer has brought them through the Bog of the Dead Trees.
[calling to him telepathically]
Lo Pan: Egg Shen... EGG SHEN! You have come a long ways to find
me. But it is too late. There are two girls with green eyes, and I will marry them both. And then I will sacrifice Gracie
Law to appease my emperor and live out my earthly pleasures with Miao Yin.
[cackles]
Lo Pan: That's right, Egg Shen. The best of two worlds!
Gracie: [Jack and Gracie are in an elevator, on their way to
confront Lo Pan] You have a gun, I hope?
Jack Burton: A knife.
Gracie: A knife? This guy's twelve feet tall!
Jack Burton: Seven. Besides, I can take him.
Lo Pan: You never could beat me, Egg Shen.
Egg Shen: Lo Pan is down there.
Jack Burton: Down where?
Egg Shen: Where is the universe?
Jack Burton: Abandoned like hell!
[Walking outside in the rain, Jack and Egg
fight for control of the umbrella]
Wang Chi: A brave man likes the feel of wind on his face.
Egg Shen: And a wise man knows when to get in out of the rain!
Jack Burton: Is this gonna get ugly now? I hope not. Because I thought what
we were here, racial differences notwithstanding, was just a couple of old buddies. You know, both of us Californians...
Wang Chi: Jack, first I got to be someplace, all right?
Jack Burton: No, you don't.
Wang Chi: Yeah, I do. What say we meet in a few hours at my restaurant,
okay? I pay the money then.
Jack Burton: Pay the money now! Where you gotta be, anyway?
Wang Chi: The airport.
Jack Burton: Yeah, over my dead body.
Wang Chi: If need be.
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